I Cant, I Dont
by Sam Carter O'Neill
Summary: Jack and SG1 are in New York when he and Sam confront their feelings. Sam has to choose... JackSam PeteSam SPOILERS for season 8 (SORRY BOUT THAT)


**A/N:** Okay I absolutely had to write this or else I would've lost my mind... I hate how Stargate SG1 is going these days! I love Atlantis but SG1 is really screwed up—jack isn't on SG1, he's a general, he's in charge of the SGC, Sam has a boyfriend/fiancé, and later on, Jack is gonna get a girlfriend! So, I wrote this with the hopes that it won't STAY so screwed up for all us Jack/Sam shippers!!! Hope you enjoy! Love, Ella

**Setting**: Season 8 (future), SG1 was coming back from Russia but since there was a stop-over in New York, they decided to stay for a little visit before going back to Colorado.

**Spoilers:** Only that Sam gets engaged and that Jack gets a girl**FIEND**...uh excuse me, what a typo, I meant girlfRiend! Ooops XD

**Song:** This is based on a few lyrics of "New American Classic" by Taking Back Sunday but no lyrics are included in here...

**Sequel:** This is a sequel to my stories "Merry Christmas Carter" and "Ulterior Pursuits" but you don't HAVE to read them (especially not "Ulterior...") to get this.

**Warning:** This is pure fluff!!! Lol

**...I Can't... I Don't...**

Colonel Carter sat at the table of Tavern on the Green in New York City, dressed in a light blue dress that she thought hugged her figure especially well. She nursed a small glass of champagne as she looked up at the myriad of hanging lanterns that hung so beautifully from the trees above her. In front of her and to her right, there was a makeshift dance floor and a DJ booth. Every night during the summer, they had a dance. Tonight, the DJ played classic rock & roll from the 1950's. There were lots of people on the dance floor currently doing the twist. Across from her, Jack was telling a story about...something or other, and Daniel and Teal'c were listening intently. Jack did look handsome, Sam thought; with just a simple pair of Kakis and a polo shirt. Hell, he looked good at 3am. Sam looked down and watched the bubbles in her champagne as the people on the dance floor paired off and a slow song came on. Suddenly, she noticed Jack's hand in front of her.

"Fancy a dance?"

"A...dance?"

"On the dance floor, Carter...See those people? They're d.a.n.c.i.n.g."

"Ah," she stood and took the outstretched hand of her CO as he led her onto the dance floor. When they got there, he slipped a hand around her waist and another stayed clutching her hand. Sam's second hand found a resting place around his neck. Her hands were actually sweaty...she felt like a nervous little schoolgirl. This was wrong. On so many levels. He was her CO. He had a girlfriend. She was engaged... sort of. She had 2 rings. One was on her dog tags and the other was packed in her suitcase, in its' box, which was stuffed in a sock. The one on her dog tags was actually a promise ring...it was given to her by Jack six Christmases ago...Before Pete.

"Jack," she said softly, as she moved in put her head on his shoulder...only because she didn't want to see the look in his eyes when she told him this.

"What—?"

"I have to tell you something..."

"What??"

"Pete...proposed last week."

There was an awkward silence for a few seconds in which they were still swaying to the slow beat of the music.

"Well," he stepped back and looked in her direction but not at her. "Congrats..." he said, in a defeated voice.

"Look, sir... JACK. I still...remember that Christmas with Cassie, Daniel, Janet, and... the promise you made me."

Jack looked down at the floor.

Sam took her dog tags from around her neck and showed him the ring she still had after so many years. "A lot has happened since then, Jack"

"a lot," Jack didn't know what to say... he'd just asked her for a _dance_!

"I know this hurts, Jack...but—"

"Carter, we can never be together."

"...but I didn't say 'yes' to him...to Pete."

"Where do we go from here?"

They walked over to a part of the garden away from everyone else. Jack leaned over a rock wall, resting his elbows across the top of it, so that he got a good view of Central Park at night. Sam did the same to his right.

"Carter... I'm an old Air Force general who's already been divorced and even had a kid. I've _retired_ before, for cryin' out loud. You're a bright young woman with an incredible future in front of you. You have Pete... he's young and—and handsome. Don't waste your time on making a decision. Because there is no decision."

"But—"

"'But' what, Carter? What?! Huh? What could you possibly see in me!?!?" he was now looking straight in her eyes. He was hurt but he knew that what he was saying was true. He also knew that a decision to be with him would be the wrong decision entirely.

She broke their gaze and stared into the park again. "I— " she didn't know what to say. There were so many things she wanted to say. She had known Jack longer than any other man in her life beside her father and her brother. She had been through so much with him. She had seen him pinned to the walls of the SGC by an alien device. She'd seen him admit his feelings for her to save their lives. She'd seen him kissing her alternate reality double as her _husband_. She was so scared to be with Pete and she didn't want to seal her and Jack's fate by marrying Pete. She loved Pete—she didn't want to love Jack...but she did.

"Jack..." she was beginning to have to choke back tears now. "I'm so scared!"

She moved in closer to Jack and put her arms around his neck as the first silent tears fell. "Jack, I love you"

Jack winced as he pushed her away. "Sam," he said, looking into her eyes. "Don't do this. We've come so far." He now forced sternness into his voice as he gripped her arms tightly. "You are Colonel Dr. Samantha Carter of the United States Air Force. I. am. Your. Commanding. Officer. No matter what you might feel; no matter how I (really do) feel... this cannot happen."

"Tell me you love me."

"Pete loves you."

"I DON'T CARE!" she screamed, overwhelmed by her emotions.

"Yes, you do."

"Please," she cried, softly.

Jack would have given anything to be with her. But what had to be sacrificed for them wasn't his to sacrifice. We're talking Earth's best defenses. Sam's career. Sam's life. He wasn't about to sit back and watch her throw it all away just to be able to say he loved her; just to kiss her every night; to be in her presence. Plus, if they did pursue a relationship, who's to say it would work out? Pete is younger. He's smarter... he loves Sam. He (Jack) could pursue that relationship if he wanted to, but there was too much at stake; it would be way too selfish. He looked down into her pleading eyes, hot tears streaming down her beautiful face.

"Damn it, Sam... No."

"No...?"

"I can't... I don't love you."

"Jack????!"

He pushed her away and turned his back on her as he walked away.

Deep down, Sam knew. She knew the reason he'd turned his back on her was because he loved her. She was scared. Hurt. Confused. Should she go after him???

...A FEW YEARS LATER...

Sam smiled as the baby she had fought so hard to bring into this world, opened his eyes for the very first time.

"Congratulations, Mom and Dad! You have a healthy baby boy!"

Sam looked into the little bundle of joy in her arms and felt just that. Joy. For the first time in her life, she was truly happy. She was married to quite possibly the best man in the entire universe and now she...they had a family. She looked up at him, her eyes dancing and her tear-stained face sporting a brilliant smile. "Congratulations, Dad!"

The man bent down to his wife and his new son and kissed both of their foreheads. "I love you so much!"

The 3nd

**A/N:** So, who'd Sam choose? In this author's humble opinion, it was Jack (since I'm a big shipper). But I'm reasonable and it seems to me that in the show, she's gonna pick Pete. But, when that happens, I'm going to stick my fingers in my ears and jump up and down shouting "LALALLALALALALALA!!! I CAN'T HEEEEAR YOU!!!!" really loudly and pretend it never happened. ;-) So, my final word: it's completely up to you!


End file.
